Come close. Let me tell you a secret. I do magic.
Although I live miles away from any river, I can make water flow
at my will. Hot or cold. I can also make a room warm without burning anything
in it.
Even though I haven’t had my body sawn in half, I perform other
death defying feats. I hurl my body through space faster than my legs can
naturally pump or on two wheels. I slather unknown chemicals on my body on a regular
basis; I even ingest a mixed grill of unpronounceable ingredients when I eat
packaged food. I squirt products labeled toxic on my lawn and all over my
house. I come through all of this unscathed.
My favorite trick?
Whatever I don’t want, I make vanish through a secret portal. I
suspect you have access to it as well, the magical land of away. In fact the
average American puts 5 lbs of stuff there daily.
The land of away reminds me of the child development stage, object
permanence. In this developmental magic show, if you hide an object a baby was
just playing with, the baby will believe it has disappeared. It’s a milestone
when babies understand if something’s out of sight, it still exists and they
will seek it.
They figure this out before the age of two.
I must confess. Unlike magic kits that come with instructions, I
don’t know how these tricks actually work. I merely impose supernatural power
over natural forces, the definition of magic.
Maybe that is the greatest trick of all. I am master of so much I know so little about and can't be bothered to understand.
But thank goodness I can do all this magic.
It keeps me young.
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